From Housewife to Leader: My Journey of Self-Discovery and Empowerment

When I look back at my journey, I often marvel at how far I have come—from a young housewife with no formal education beyond high school to a leader in the UK’s education sector. My story is not just one of professional success; it’s also a journey of self-discovery, resilience, and, most importantly, empowerment.

I was born in a small town in Bihar, India, into a traditional family. At the age of 15, I entered into an arranged marriage with Shankar Khemka, a first-year medical student. We had never met, and I had no idea what my future held. After we married, I spent the first 20 years of my life as a full-time housewife, raising three children. During that time, I never imagined that one day I would lead one of the most successful further education institutions in the UK or be honoured as a Dame Commander of the Order of the British Empire.

Our move to the United Kingdom marked the start of a profound shift in my life. It was a culture shock in every sense—I didn’t speak English, didn’t understand the customs, and felt overwhelmed by this unfamiliar world. I vividly remember the first time I saw snow, slipping on the icy streets outside our home, feeling completely lost in this new country. But despite the discomfort, I knew that adapting to this environment wasn’t an option; it was a necessity.

In those early years, I learned English by watching children’s TV programmes with my kids. I started with simple shows like Play School and gradually picked up the language. It was during this period that I realised something profound: despite the challenges, I had a deep inner ambition that had yet to be fulfilled. I had spent years focusing on my family, but now it was time to focus on myself—and education became my path to self-discovery.

When my children went off to boarding school, I decided to take a step towards something new. I enrolled in a secretarial course, initially thinking I would assist my husband in his private practice once he became a consultant. But as I studied, I discovered a deep love for learning, and with encouragement from those around me, I continued. I completed my bachelor’s degree and other qualifications and eventually became a lecturer.

However, the journey was far from smooth. Being an immigrant woman in the UK’s education sector brought its own set of challenges. I encountered prejudice, scepticism, and doubts—both from others and within myself. But I realised that if I wanted to lead, I had to push through those barriers. I had to prove, not only to others but to myself, that I was capable of leading, innovating, and creating change.

In just 15 years, I transitioned from being a student to becoming the Principal and CEO of West Nottinghamshire College. But what I discovered along the way was that leadership is not about control or authority. True leadership is about empowering others to realise their potential. It’s about building a strong, cohesive team, nurturing talent, and enabling people to grow beyond what they thought possible.

What I learned is that success is not defined by titles or accolades—it is about the impact we have on the people we serve. My proudest moments come from seeing students and staff at my college flourish, knowing that I played a small part in helping them realise their potential. And that is the essence of leadership: empowering others.

To anyone reading this who may feel trapped by their circumstances—whether you are a young woman, a mother, or anyone who feels limited by your current situation—know this: you have the power to change your life. You have the power to lead, grow, and make a difference. If I could do it, so can you.

I often reflect on how my life has changed, and I’m reminded of the power of determination and belief. My journey, from a housewife to a leader, is a testament to the fact that with the right mindset, there are no limits to what we can achieve.

If my story resonates with you, or if you believe that my experiences could inspire others in your organisation or event, I’d be honoured to share my journey and leadership insights as a keynote speaker. It’s through sharing stories that we learn from one another, and I would be privileged to contribute to your event’s conversation on leadership, empowerment, and growth. Please feel free to reach out for further details.